Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"I'm not always supposed to do something"

Today, a lady with deep strong beautiful blue eyes came over to me at the end of an excellent show.

I had been thinking to approach the microphone as the band was being loved and hugged on by all their new adoring fans. I wanted to speak to the fact that this concert was a "love-offering donation" concert (i.e. FREE, but please support the artists with love disguised as money) and that the recipients of this mind-blowing experience could reflect their gratitude by offering more to the artists .. but I just couldn't find the right space inside me to speak that message ... I did not want to disturb the beautiful energy of what was unfolding (what always unfolds) after the concert when the audience wants to love all over the guys - touch them, hug them, talk to them, share how they were touched, etc. - and so I just waited patiently ... content in knowing that the money we make on any given night is always the right amount.

And while I was simply being patient, waiting for life to show me the way, that is when she approached me ... rounding the first row of chairs she said, "So ... ... I came here today grieving ..." ... she looked at me with these penetrating crystal blue eyes; I saw her lip begin quivering ... she had been going through something powerful during this performance.

She looked at me ... her heart still breaking wide open ... the band had finished the performance with a powerful acoustic performance of "WINGS", walking through the audience singing a beautiful melody to these words:


She squinted, holding back tears about to burst through the corners of her eyes ... I could see that the performance had taken the deep struggle of whatever her current experience and was still now using it like a powerful wedge in breaking her heart wide open ...

I simply put my arm around her as she buried herself into my arms and began to sob. I just held her tight and kept silent. I felt her breath deeply. I breathed deeply. She cried. I held her tighter. And we breathed deeply together ... as she let it all go.

After a few minutes she told me about what she was going through ... I just kept silent, holding her perfectly with my presence ... two complete strangers ... and yet soul mates in that moment, so perfectly known to each other. Me, holding space for her to breathe a little deeper ... she, giving me the exquisite gift of allowing me to simply be fully, deeply present and in love with her in that moment.

As she shared her story, a few words eventually came through that I hope served her.

She was so grateful to HERE II HERE for their music, their presence, their joy ... grateful to me for helping to bring them here to this moment. She told me she did not expect to laugh that day ... and was so grateful to have laughed joyfully during the performance. She was simply grateful.

What a lesson for me, as life always shows the way. The simple truth is I was not supposed to speak to the audience, even as I stood there thinking I "need" to help the guys make more money. But I was not supposed to make more money for the band today. I was not even the manager of HERE II HERE ... not even "Bryan". It was my job at the end of the show today to simply be present with this beautiful, strong woman with bluebird earrings ...

I asked her if she wanted to meet the band. She said no. She was done for the day. She was cooked. She asked me to share her story with them ... I walked her to our CD table and gifted her a CD from the band.

And then she left. And that's the story of the lady who approached me.

I love my job.

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